Everyone in your life is FOR you
While I was going through my separation, I was lucky enough to work with an intuitive from Hawaii, named Michelle. I think of her as my Yoda, with all her guidance and knowledge, popping up in my life when I was about ready to crumble. Whenever I’d have a call with her, she’d let me record it and I’d listen to it over and over until it sank in. One of the things that frustrated me about myself, was that when I listened to the recordings days or weeks later, I’d notice that while I had a connection with a well of wisdom and knowledge, I’d more often than not, ask about stupid little interactions with people I now don’t even think about or rarely do. I was so easily triggered by little things, I’d bring it up during a conversation I could have asked so much more significant things during…
Michelle would say, again and again, “everyone in your life is FOR you” Yet it still didn’t click. I’d still get mad at myself for wasting that time…
I recently realized that I tend to go in and out of “hermit” phases, where I distance myself from everyone so I can sit with myself and get some perspective, from the inside. This phase seems to often come after being triggered by something - or someone - where my energetic boundaries were crossed or challenged.
The last year especially has shown me that, yes support and seeking out advice from others is valuable, what’s also valuable is to go within, and listen, and to see how important these challenges are - and how accurately they point out exactly where I fall short of what I truly desire.
As I later discovered, through Lacy’s work over at www.tobemagnetic.com, the work towards getting what we want starts with two things:
One is identifying Expanders - these are people with similar backgrounds or stories, who show you what is possible. As opposed to the old spiritual rhetoric of “believe it then you will see it”, Expanders actually show you that what you want is doable and achievable - “see it then you will believe it”. The more relatable they are, the better.
For instance, I was looking for expanders who are: immigrants, went through divorce with grace and respect (or a major breakup), (re)claimed & owned their self worth, went on to find their voice & success, a new happy, expansive relationship, with grace & style and rocking couture while they’re at it, didn’t hurt either. Some of my expanders are Amal Clooney, Meghan Markle, Lacy Phillips, Shiva Rose, and there are more…
The second is noticing Triggers. I noticed, that the more I was looking at expanders and how much growth I have ahead me, the more my shadow wanted to speak up - whether it was through my own “inner critic” voice or by being triggered by others. Oh, how that bugged me!
To put it simply:
Expanders have qualities we see in ourselves and the potential we have in our own journey.
Triggers show us where there’s still work to be done to step into our full value and worth.
If we want to grow, we need to value what both bring to our attention. What a gift it is to start on this journey, equipped with these two mirrors! Now, I understand what Michelle said when she told me “Everyone in your life is FOR you'“ … They truly are.
p.s. here’s the link to the Daily Reprogramming Exercise Lacy offers. It’s been such a great tool for me, and it’s helped me heal a lot of issues that popped up recently. I’m sure more will continue to come up to the surface…