Doubting the Self, Learning to Trust, then back again

I didn’t know how I should write this because I’m not sure I can fully do it yet. Trust. The process. Myself. My Self.

A few weeks ago, one of my dear friends asked me to take her family’s holiday photos. This is the third consecutive year she’s asked me to do it and it’s been a pleasure to watch her family evolve, through my lens, throughout the years.

I love captures like this. It’s rare to be so present and in trust of my self, my knowledge, my gear, my intuition… yet immediately after, the doubt comes in. Did I meter right? Did I capture what she wanted me? Was I getting things from the right angle?

The email from the lab with the scans feel like Christmas morning every time. Pure childlike joy. But then the programmed, inner critic shows up and ruins every once of purity. I hit ‘Send’ and hope they like what they see, not knowing how much I doubt my output.

I get a text from her “god given talent and gifts must not be ignored.”

Now I remember, it’s not my role to judge what moves through me, that which I am a vessel for. That which we are all here to express is straight from Source, we simply bring it through.

Why can’t we see ourselves the ways those who see the best in us do? See the Divine in each expression and unfolding. It could all be so much more simple and light.